A Concerned Husband

This anonymous letter was written by the spouse of a CFS sufferer. It expresses the powerlessness and frustration felt by a loving husband observing the many physical and institutional obstacles that his wife “Peggy” faces.

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To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing this morning out of great concern about the condition of Peggy. She has been my loving companion for five years. During this time I have witnessed the changes in her life, due to her suffering from Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. This devastating disease has robbed Peggy of her vitality and energy, as well as her enthusiasm for life. As the pain increased, the quality of her life decreased. Constant suffering from pain is a terrible burden which overshadows all other aspects of life.

The inspiration for me to write this, as I have never written about this before, comes from an article in this morning’s paper. The article is about the latest individual, assisted in suicide, by Dr. Kevorkian. The woman suffered from Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome and muscle pain which was obviously Fibromyalgia. The woman’s father is quoted as saying, “My daughter had intractable and unrelenting pain. I hate losing my only child, but there are some things in this world worse than death”.

The news reports the medical community’s response to the woman’s condition as “No evidence of disease” and “not a fatal disease”– typical responses faced by the sufferers of this disease from virtually everyone they tell about their problems. I myself was skeptical at first about a disease with no outward signs. However, I am now convinced about the severity of this condition and the extremely debilitating effect it has on a persons life. I would like to implore everyone in the medical community to take a longer look at the way they are treating this disease.

The “Pain Management” method of telling a patient to simply try to live with the pain, with little or no assistance, combined with the philosophy that the accompanying depression is a cause of the pain rather that a symptom is very ineffective and actually worsens the patients condition. The more pain, the more depression. It starts off as good days and bad days, then becomes good days and bad weeks until the quality of life is so diminished that a solution such as Dr. Kevorkian’s seems the lesser of two evils and just an end to the pain, not to life.

Peggy is constantly forced to balance the amount of things she can do in one day, against the amount of pain she will suffer the next two or three days. The idea that the possibility of addiction and subsequent withdrawal from pain medication is a greater risk than the benefit in quality of life that the absence, or at least lessening of daily pain will bring is a fallacy.

Obviously, everyone would like a better solution or cure than daily medications. I know that Peggy would gladly trade medication for a cure, but to expect a person to just live with ever increasing pain and depression until a cure is found is unacceptable.

This disease doesn’t physically kill you like AIDS or cancer; it just makes you hurt so bad that you wish it would. This disease doesn’t disfigure or maim it’s victims outward appearance; it just adds to the embarrassment and emotional pain of people disbelieving that they are even ill on top of the severe crippling pain. The stress caused by the combination of these factors adds to the insomnia and depression and the cycle continues in a downward spiral until, as stated before, that Dr. Kevorkian’s solution seems the lessor of two evils.

I would like to conclude this letter, as I fear I am sounding redundant, with a plea to everyone who is acquainted with sufferers of this disease, whether you are a family member, friend, or a physician treating them: treat them with kindness, compassion, and understanding. This is truly a horrible disease and as crippling as any, so believe them and help them regain their lives. Thank you for you time and patience in reading my rambling thoughts; it is only because I feel so strongly about this I have trouble writing this down cohesively.

Thank you for Your Time,

Sincerely,

A Concerned Husband

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