Housekeeping and Chronic Pain
Think you can’t have a clean organized home and chronic pain? With a little patience and perseverance it can happen!
How ironic is it that about 75% of chronic pain sufferers are women, and women seem to be responsible for 95% of all the household chores? Why do we still feel we have to do everything we once did, even though our circumstances have changed? Sometimes we just have no other choice: either we live alone, or we don’t have enough support. But there are a few things I’ve learned along the way to have a cleaner, more organized home, even though you’ll never see my place on the pages of House Beautiful.
It seems like a daunting task to get started especially if you’ve let things go for too long. So expect this to be a process, not an overnight feat.
Of course it’s a daunting task to get started, especially if you’ve let things go for too long. I understand, I did that too. And Rome wasn’t built in a day, as they say. So expect this to be a process, not an overnight feat.
Once you get started, not only will you feel a major sense of accomplishment, but when you’re done, things will be easier to keep up, and that will take a lot of stress off you. I’m writing under the assumption that YOU will be the one who will be doing most of it. If possible, consider delegating any of your chores to a partner, a child, a helpful friend, or even hired help if you can afford it.
Step 1: The List
The first step isn’t cleaning at all. Sit down and make a list. What tasks are the most important to you? Does the clutter drive you crazy? Is that dirty bathroom making you nuts? Write down, in order, the projects you’d like to tackle. You may be thinking “My whole house is a disaster!” That’s okay, mine was too, just write it down. Your list can be simple- Clean kitchen, Clean bathroom, or you can go into details.
Step 2: The Purge
A lot of us have years of accumulated junk; knick knacks, clothes we never wear, pots and pans we never use, etc. Please seriously consider either donating it, having a garage sale, or just throwing it away! This especially applies to those things that never seem to have a place to be put away. Believe me, getting rid of the junk is the biggest relief of the whole process. You’ll never have to dust those stupid things again. Or try to find room in your cupboards.
Seriously consider getting rid of things you no longer use or just take up space. Clutter is the most overwhelming task of them all, and the most distracting. It’s what makes you not know where to begin.
Clutter is the most overwhelming task of them all, and the most distracting. It’s what makes you not know where to begin. So consider decluttering, at least some of it, and the rest will be so much easier.
Step 3: The Process
When you’ve made peace with getting rid of some of that stuff (or decided you can’t bear to part with it), the next step is mental. You must give yourself permission to take breaks during this “process”. Breaks during the time you are working are essential! You must pace yourself and not overdo any of it! Decide that you will work for a certain amount of time, then rest for a little while. I like to work in 20 minute segments. If I feel I can continue, I do. If not, I sit for a little while. Sometimes, I just can’t get up and get going at all again that day- THAT’S OKAY! You’ve lived like this for awhile now, a little more won’t hurt you.
Sometimes the breaks can extend into days or weeks, because you’re not well, and that’s okay too. Don’t expect more of yourself than you’re capable of, and don’t push just to get it done. It will all get done eventually. The only promise you must make to yourself is that if you take breaks that last for awhile, you will not add to your clutter during this time. Don’t bring in more stuff than you can take care of. Doing so will just set you back and frustrate you.
Breaks during the time you are working are essential! You must pace yourself and not overdo any of it! Decide that you will work for a certain amount of time, then rest for a little while.
Step 4: Arrange & Rearrange
Now we’re ready to really get started. But, we’re still not going to clean! Go through the house, room by room (however long it takes is okay), and put things away. Find a place for whatever you’re keeping, and put it where it will eventually go. Rearrange your knick knacks how you’d like them. Put those important papers on your kitchen table in a small bin. Hang up (or put in the laundry) all those clothes lying around in the bedroom. Rearrange the appliances on the kitchen counter so they’re more efficient. Arrange (or put away) the shoes in the back hall, straighten up those books or magazines. You get the idea. No cleaning yet, but finding a home for everything will make it look so much neater, and it will be easier to take care of once you start.
Step 5: The Pact
As you finish in each room, make a pact with yourself that even if you do nothing else all day, each room you’ve picked up will stay picked up until you get to the cleaning part. Otherwise, you’ll have to start over. Unless you’re desperately ill, you can take a moment to put away anything you’ve used. If you have a family, get them in this habit too.
Finally, we’re getting to the cleaning part. Your house is hopefully now decluttered and straightened up. It may be dirty, but it looks a lot more manageable, doesn’t it? Get out that list and recheck your priorities. Once things are in their place, they may have changed. The kitchen may look livable to you now, but your bedroom may not. Reorder what you want to accomplish.
Try to think of new ways to do things so as to not aggravate your pain.
Step 6: Cleaning
Now you can tackle the actual cleaning. We all know how to clean, so I won’t tell you what to do, but give you some ideas you can implement to make things easier. As you organize closets and cabinets, make sure the items you use most frequently are within easy reach for you. If you have the room, keep duplicate cleaning supplies where you will use them. For instance, you may want to have glass cleaner in both the bathroom and kitchen. Keep the bathroom cleaners in the bathroom, so they are right there for you to use. Obviously keeping in mind the safety of children and pets first.
Alternate between hard chores and easy ones. Don’t try to tackle all the hard tasks at once. Also try to alternate between chores you do sitting or standing. And try to do as much as you can sitting down. Pull the junk drawer out and set it at your kitchen table to organize it. Fold your laundry while sitting on the couch. Buy one of those long handled scrubbers so you’re not bending over the tub. Every time you leave a room, take something with you and put it where it belongs. Try to think of new ways to do things so as to not aggravate your pain.
Every day, take just a few minutes to keep the areas you’ve finished picked up, or better yet, try to get in the habit of putting things away as soon as you’re done using them.
Break up tasks that make you hurt most. Vacuum just the living room one day, and save the family room for another. Wash just half of the kitchen floor. Never think you have to finish it all- you don’t. We’re so used to feeling like we have to complete each task, but you must remember that there is no time frame, and eventually it will all get done. Every day, take just a few minutes to keep the areas you’ve finished picked up, or better yet, try to get in the habit of putting things away as soon as you’re done using them.
Once the visible areas of your home are done, then look at taking on things like drawers and closets. Doing the things you see when entering your home are the most rewarding, so save the closed areas for last.
It’s not going to be easy, but if you keep at it a little at a time, before you know it, everything will be organized and clean. It will make your day to day cleaning a breeze, cut your stress level, and make it a pleasure to be home.
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About the Author:
Faith Stone is a regular contributor to Fog Magazine. In spite of her fibromyalgia, her columns appear here twice a month.
[...] - bookmarked by 3 members originally found by evangineer on 2008-09-08 Housekeeping and Chronic Pain http://www.fogmagazine.com/housekeeping-and-chronic-pain/ - bookmarked by 2 members originally [...]
Thank you so much for your article on “Housekeeping and Chronic Pain”.
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I am both disorganized and have an obsessive need to organize. But - I am currently in a state of chronic pain and fatigue. This makes for a difficult combination especially since I have always been a big collector of “stuff”. Stuff from better days for hobbies and professions and collectibles. Since becoming disabled, my home is my base. I have acquired new stuff in the forms of medical research books, my medical records, various tools and products for pain relief and gentle exercises.
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Your article describes part of the story of my life these last 5 years. The little at a time re-arrange, purge, clean, the lists. The need to accept that some projects (like putting my photos from the last 6 years into albums) simply will not get done for a long long time because it is low priority, and that’s okay ! Every so often, my brain goes into visual overload where I can’t process what I’m seeing and I have to remove unnecessary items from my sight. I look for something I need and all I see is a big blurr and I feel much anxiety. I’ll put unnecessary things into closets so I don’t have to look at them - that helps.
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For paperwork I have to deal with or other tasks that I’ve scribbled onto paper, one other technique I use is to set up piles, perhaps put a label on top as to what the pile is. Then using brightly colored index cards with a priority number boldly written on it - 1, 2, 3, etc… , I place these on the piles. So, when I look at my piles, I know where to start. I can always shift priorities of the piles and new ones come in all the time.
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So, I have medical and physical therapy appointments several days a week. On the days I don’t have any appointments, I call these my “days off’. And, on my days off, if I am up to it, I do a little organization. My husband comes home and I tell him “You probably won’t notice this but I did x, y and z around the house and it was a lot of work but It’ll make it easier to function”. Sometimes it is something that really will just help me but sometimes it is something that should help him also. Either way, I know he just can’t appreciate the energy and effort I put into it. So, I have to be satisfied with my progress without expecting appreciation from others. I’ve learned how to do that and that’s okay.
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I think all of us with fibro have to deal with outside judgement that we are just “not doing enough” and it is important for us to know when we are doing as much as we can and should to avoid flare, injury and days in bed to recover.
This was a good article and I totally agree with all the steps listed. As a woman who has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, severe osteoarthritis in knee and hips and a sleep disorder just this side of narcolepsy, I used to do ok with all my housekeeping chores. T
Things were not perfect, but adequate. Eighteen months ago I joined the ranks of the unemployed and thankfully landed a temporary job a week later. For 4 months straight (Aug-Nov ‘07) I worked an aeverage of 82 hours a week. I was working on a big project that was time sensitive, the work needed to get done and they did not mind paying me overtime. I worked like a fiend because I knew that any day I could get notice and be without a job in a matter of a few days to a few weeks.
Well, I am sure you can see what’s coming next - with all those intense hours, I pretty much just came home to sleep. Mail got piled on every horizontal surface. I was living out of the dryer and the laundry basket and everything else just went undone.
I was asked to stay on through December and I was embarrassed when my son came home for the holidays and saw the mess I was living in. I promised him that I would get things under control as soon as I could.
In January of 2008 I was hired to work full-time permanently with the company I did all the temp work for. What a relief! Now, I could concentrate on getting my condo back into shape, except I was so worn out from all those previous months of long hours. My rheumatologist was furious with me because of the stress I had put my body through. plus I gained about 30# from being sedentary and eating poorily.
One Sunday night, I was coming home from my daughter’s and decided to stop at the bookstore. Right there on the bargain table when I walked in was a book with a bright pink (my color) cover and the title was “Shine Your Sink.” How intriguing this book looked and so I picked it up and started to read. This was a book about getting your home DECLUTTERED and the author swore it started with “shining you sink.”
Of course, I bought the book and did not look at it until Friday night, read a bit more on Saturday and on Sunday, I got up, got dressed to the shoes, washed my face and brushed my teeth, and then “shined my sink.” That was the beginning of my relationship with The FlyLady and FlyLady.com, and that led me the local group of FlyBabies, who have a Yahoo group and meet monthly to share hints and enjoy each others company.
My journey is not yet complete, but I am trying very hard. All of the mail clutter is gone, I am scanning receipts so they can be filed electronically and the originals shredded and disposed off, plus lots of other every day tasks and chores. The one key thing I remember is “You can do anything for 15 minutes.” so, I have a timer and I set it for 15 minutes, when it dings I go on to another task and if I need to return to the first one, I will do it again for another 15 minutes and so on.
The FlyLady has made a difference in my life and I urge you to check her website and look for her book. Her logic and reasoning is so sound and she helps you acknowledge the problem and then realize you are not alone.
~~ Lee